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Celebrity

This wasn’t exactly and article I was planning to write but I guess writing subjects can come from anywhere.  I was actually inspired by a post on Reddit, someone had asked where if there was anywhere friendly enough for her, as that thread expanded I learned there are some awful attitudes towards transgender people.  It got me thinking where does this hate come from, we’re not born with it, so someone must teach us it or indoctrinate us into it.

Why was I so scared for so many years about the way I felt, when to me I was with some of the most beautiful, alluring, intelligent genuine and strong women I’ve ever met.  I’m not a doctor, I’m not a psychologist I might not have the right answers, but I have a theory.  I’m not gay but I know how it’s a stigma in some circles, I know how straight guys act up about it, I know how we use it as a derogatory or negative term sometimes.  I was a afraid that because I was attracted to transgender women or that I was dating someone who was transitioning that I would be regarded or thought of as gay.

To reenforce my point, on 3 occasions where I’ve told someone about my feelings, their reaction was “So you’re gay?”, I always have mixed emotions on hearing that, I softly tried to explain it once, I guess it’s a confusing subject for someone who hasn’t had time to think about it, I was defensive another time, the last time again I tried to softly explain and then cried for hours on my own later.

Ever wondered if a celebrity dated a transgender person, google it, it’s horrific, sensational headlines that only enforce negativity, “Dude look like a lady –  10 Celebrities caught with Trannys” – are you kidding with that headline! they use the word Caught in almost all of these articles, Caught, like what happens when you hide, so we should hide when we date transgender people?

This reflect how I felt for so long, I feared labels, persecution, judgement just like women who transition fear the same things, I hide from who I am and how I felt, honestly, it looks and feels pathetic and cowardly to look back at it now.  The world is changing, slowly, It feels like its getting better, the more subject matter out here on the internet, the better our chance of fighting ignorance with education.

I don’t know where I’m evening going with this article, It’s genuinely fucking sad to know that some people in the world hold such a regressive and stone age…..outright vicious attitude towards transgender people, maybe we can’t change everyone’s opinion, maybe we can change a few, I hope with each new generation of young people that less of them are subject to this hate or negative indoctrination, attitudes will change and stealth will be a thing of the past for those who prefer to live without it.

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Terminology – the right word for the right occasion

This is an article that I’ve actually wanted to right for a long time, it’s also something I wanted to write in a very specific style.  I find that Transwomen can be incredibly hostile to men who use the wrong terms in reference even when there is no malice intended, just advocacy.

So let’s start with the basics and go through pretty much every term you have ever heard.

Women – This term is inclusive of genetic women, i.e. women who are female at birth genetically and Transgender women i.e. women who were genetically born male at birth but have since transitioned, are transitioning or even identify as female.

Trans-Woman or Transwoman – This term is what we call a sub-set when using something called set theory ( look-it up), Women would be the superset that Transwomen belonged to.  A Transwoman is a woman who was born genetically male at birth but identifies as female, they may have transitioned;  they might be currently transitioning or they might be pre transition, this is a broad and inclusive term.

Cis-Woman – Ciswoman, Cisgender or Cissexual, simply means female assigned female at birth or male assigned male at birth where their experiences of their gender match their genetically assigned sex at birth.  Alternatively Cis-Female can be used but commonly used term Transwoman, Cis-Woman or Ciswoman is a good match.

I tend to think of the 3 above terms as a pyramid, Women is the parent of Trans-Women and Cis-Women. It’s important to use the correct terms when writing so we’re not accidentally exclusive of any sub-set and because it makes reading a lot easier.

Pre-Op – This is a term used to describe  a transgender woman who hasn’t yet had Sexual Reassignment Surgery or SRS for short, this means she still has a penis.

Post-Op – This term describes a transgender woman who has undergone SRS and her penis has been reconstructed by a skillful surgeon into a vagina.

Non-Op – This term describes a transgender woman who has elected not to have SRS and intends to keep her penis.

Orchidectomy – There are a few different forms of this operation but the ultimate result is that the male testicles are removed from the body, this ultimately will reduce Testosterone production.

Shemale – This is a term used pretty much exclusively in the porn scene, the vast majority of transwomen find this term derogatory and will not appreciate you using it, find something nicer, even if they are a porn star.

Tranny – This term is another derogatory term, there isn’t a good reason to use it, again it’s often found on the porn scene and usually used by men who don’t know any better.

Transsexual – Is more commonly used as an adjective rather than a noun, for example transgender man or transgender woman, transsexual person is common too.

MtF – This is a short form version of “assigned-to-target” sex terms, so MtF is Male to Female and FtM is Female-to-Male.  These terms are commonly found on dating sites and personals.

Gender Dysphoria – This terms describes pain or distress an individual would suffer because their birth sex doesn’t match their gender identity.

Active – This term describes someone who takes the active role during sex, this is the person who would actively use their penis to penetrate their partner.

Passive – This term describes someone who takes a passive role using sex, they don’t generally use their penis for penetration, they are usually penetrated.

Versatile – This term describes someone who can be both active and passive depending on their partners and their own preferences.

Top & Bottom – These terms are the gay equivalents of Active and Passive, transwomen and their admirers tend not to use these terms.

Admirers – This is one word for men who admire or have an attraction to transgender women, I personally don’t find the term hugely flattering.

Tranny-Chaser –  A derogatory term for Men who objectify transgender women turning them into nothing more than sex object for personal gratification.

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What is TransAttraction?

So what is TransAttraction anyway? Simply put, it’s a heterosexual males attraction towards transgender women.  Don’t worry, you aren’t alone, there are other guys out there who feel exactly the same way you do.

I know that this isn’t the easiest thing for a guy to figure out on his own, I also know it can be pretty hard  when you don’t have anyone to talk to or relate to, for this reason I created TransAttraction.com.

I’d likeTransAttraction to feel like a safe environment for guys to talk about their attractions, learn more about the women they are attracted to and pickup some correct terminology along the way.

When I first published my article in 2014 titled – My Attraction to Transgender women shouldn’t be a secret, it was the first most of my friends and family knew about the way I felt and how long I’d kept it a secret.

I got some great feedback from friends, I had a few guys get in touch and tell me they had the same feelings but didn’t really feel like they had anyone to talk to.  I also posted the article on reddit and got a few replies with what felt like hostile undertones, it wasn’t conducive to me sharing openly and at that time I wished I hadn’t because of the comments.

With that said, I want the TransAttraction website be a safe place for guys to talk about things, we’re not going to tell you off for using the wrong words, we will gently correct you.  Learn about some of the issues trans-women face today and some of the challenges that still exist for them.

We’re not going to be colour blind for want of a better term and pretend that there are no differences between trans-women and cis-women, there are differences, but most of the guys reading this have already realized or will soon realize that these differences should be celebrated and embraced as a good thing.

I’m not talking about the physical differences here, I’m talking about the important stuff, a trans-woman might understand you as a guy better than any cis-woman, she might even watch star-wars and play the xbox with you, be your favorite geek, she’s been there and done that – think about the possibilities.

Be the best guy you can be 🙂

Si

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We are Live!

So TransAttraction is Live! Thanks for visiting!

If you have no idea what TransAttraction is, then please head over to the “What is TransAttraction?” section and find out now.

If you do already know, read some of our articles from Emilia and my self and get registered on the forum and introduce your self, there is always someone out there who want’s talk.  Let’s make this the number one resource for guys like us.

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