Terminology – the right word for the right occasion

This is an article that I’ve actually wanted to right for a long time, it’s also something I wanted to write in a very specific style.  I find that Transwomen can be incredibly hostile to men who use the wrong terms in reference even when there is no malice intended, just advocacy.

So let’s start with the basics and go through pretty much every term you have ever heard.

Women – This term is inclusive of genetic women, i.e. women who are female at birth genetically and Transgender women i.e. women who were genetically born male at birth but have since transitioned, are transitioning or even identify as female.

Trans-Woman or Transwoman – This term is what we call a sub-set when using something called set theory ( look-it up), Women would be the superset that Transwomen belonged to.  A Transwoman is a woman who was born genetically male at birth but identifies as female, they may have transitioned;  they might be currently transitioning or they might be pre transition, this is a broad and inclusive term.

Cis-Woman – Ciswoman, Cisgender or Cissexual, simply means female assigned female at birth or male assigned male at birth where their experiences of their gender match their genetically assigned sex at birth.  Alternatively Cis-Female can be used but commonly used term Transwoman, Cis-Woman or Ciswoman is a good match.

I tend to think of the 3 above terms as a pyramid, Women is the parent of Trans-Women and Cis-Women. It’s important to use the correct terms when writing so we’re not accidentally exclusive of any sub-set and because it makes reading a lot easier.

Pre-Op – This is a term used to describe  a transgender woman who hasn’t yet had Sexual Reassignment Surgery or SRS for short, this means she still has a penis.

Post-Op – This term describes a transgender woman who has undergone SRS and her penis has been reconstructed by a skillful surgeon into a vagina.

Non-Op – This term describes a transgender woman who has elected not to have SRS and intends to keep her penis.

Orchidectomy – There are a few different forms of this operation but the ultimate result is that the male testicles are removed from the body, this ultimately will reduce Testosterone production.

Shemale – This is a term used pretty much exclusively in the porn scene, the vast majority of transwomen find this term derogatory and will not appreciate you using it, find something nicer, even if they are a porn star.

Tranny – This term is another derogatory term, there isn’t a good reason to use it, again it’s often found on the porn scene and usually used by men who don’t know any better.

Transsexual – Is more commonly used as an adjective rather than a noun, for example transgender man or transgender woman, transsexual person is common too.

MtF – This is a short form version of “assigned-to-target” sex terms, so MtF is Male to Female and FtM is Female-to-Male.  These terms are commonly found on dating sites and personals.

Gender Dysphoria – This terms describes pain or distress an individual would suffer because their birth sex doesn’t match their gender identity.

Active – This term describes someone who takes the active role during sex, this is the person who would actively use their penis to penetrate their partner.

Passive – This term describes someone who takes a passive role using sex, they don’t generally use their penis for penetration, they are usually penetrated.

Versatile – This term describes someone who can be both active and passive depending on their partners and their own preferences.

Top & Bottom – These terms are the gay equivalents of Active and Passive, transwomen and their admirers tend not to use these terms.

Admirers – This is one word for men who admire or have an attraction to transgender women, I personally don’t find the term hugely flattering.

Tranny-Chaser –  A derogatory term for Men who objectify transgender women turning them into nothing more than sex object for personal gratification.


Who are we ?

Right now, we’re a staff of two, I’d like to introduce myself (Simon) and M, we will both be contributing to the site and moderating the form, hopefully we will add some more great people to the staff roster in the future.

Simon –

I’m an IT guy who’s based in London in the UK, I can sometimes be found in Birmingham too.  I developed my attraction to trans-women around the age of 12. I started to explore that attraction properly in my early 20’s.  I didn’t really tell anyone about it until the age of 29, that’s a secret that I carried for a good 17 years.

I know how heavy  a secret like that can become when it follows you everywhere, I’d like other guys to consider me as someone they can talk to when they have no one else to confide in, I’d also like our forum to become somewhere that is safe and open for us to talk.

M and I both feel that there isn’t enough information out there on real trans-women issues and that guys are often unaware of the realities they face.

M –

I’m not a fan of labels, however, for the sake of introductions I am a post-op transsexual. Having began my transition in my teens, I have spent over a decade becoming the woman I am today.

A full-time student, I lead a simple life free of the drama and dissillusion I created for myself in my younger years while transitioning. I do not claim to be an expert on the topic of gender dysphoria, sexual orientation or attraction, I am here only to share my experiences in the hope that others may find them useful.

Dating in general is tough, dating as a teenager is harrowing, dating as a teenager while transiting is excruciating. It’s difficult to know what to look for in a partner when you still don’t know yourself.


What is TransAttraction?

So what is TransAttraction anyway? Simply put, it’s a heterosexual males attraction towards transgender women.  Don’t worry, you aren’t alone, there are other guys out there who feel exactly the same way you do.

I know that this isn’t the easiest thing for a guy to figure out on his own, I also know it can be pretty hard  when you don’t have anyone to talk to or relate to, for this reason I created

I’d likeTransAttraction to feel like a safe environment for guys to talk about their attractions, learn more about the women they are attracted to and pickup some correct terminology along the way.

When I first published my article in 2014 titled – My Attraction to Transgender women shouldn’t be a secret, it was the first most of my friends and family knew about the way I felt and how long I’d kept it a secret.

I got some great feedback from friends, I had a few guys get in touch and tell me they had the same feelings but didn’t really feel like they had anyone to talk to.  I also posted the article on reddit and got a few replies with what felt like hostile undertones, it wasn’t conducive to me sharing openly and at that time I wished I hadn’t because of the comments.

With that said, I want the TransAttraction website be a safe place for guys to talk about things, we’re not going to tell you off for using the wrong words, we will gently correct you.  Learn about some of the issues trans-women face today and some of the challenges that still exist for them.

We’re not going to be colour blind for want of a better term and pretend that there are no differences between trans-women and cis-women, there are differences, but most of the guys reading this have already realized or will soon realize that these differences should be celebrated and embraced as a good thing.

I’m not talking about the physical differences here, I’m talking about the important stuff, a trans-woman might understand you as a guy better than any cis-woman, she might even watch star-wars and play the xbox with you, be your favorite geek, she’s been there and done that – think about the possibilities.

Be the best guy you can be 🙂